Hold yer Ears Folks! It’s Showtime!

Orientation, held this past Monday-Tuesday, was long and exhausting. Never before have I been so tired. Mariel commented about this on her blog (which you all ought to bookmark) and I concur: I couldn’t ever imagine how sitting in a chair for two days while being told how much work I will be doing soon would be so much work! I will throw my hat into the ring and say that I am officially a law student now. A judge swore me in and everything. I must fight the urge to plaster my face over every taxi cab in the city. A strong urge to fight.

It seems other blogs have been better about chronicling their law school’s orientation. Mine was, from what I gather, fairly average. We had a mock class. I met a number of students who went to WAY better undergraduate institutions than I did. I explained where I am from and what brought me to law school about a million times. (By the way, here is my script: “What did I major in? Alchemy.” “Why law school? SO I can prompt friends/family with ‘As your attorney I’d asvise you…’ whenever I deliver a personal suggestion. **See Dr. Gonzo in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. “as your attorney, I advise you to take some more ether) We all went to the bar and had a fun, more-relaxed time on Tuesday. I found the buttoned-up formality of orientation rather disconcerting but I expected it. It was nice to see that once the institution was somewhat removed from the process that my peers are indeed human.

Tomorrow is class. I have spent hours in the library today goofing off studying in hopes of not looking too foolish tomorrow. I spoke with a friend who started last week and he is of the impression that at least some of the gloom and doom I’ve been told of is hype. One lecturer actually said to all of us, “You are the kids who read things once and got it. You can’t do that here anymore.” Well…shucks. I anticipate a number of readings of a case only to go in and be throttled by the professor.

I suppose the piece of advice that I can give to future 1Ls is that orientation throws a lot of stuff at you at once. Everyone knows about exams, notes and classes for the most part. Some people already know, or think they do, about what sort of law or practice they would like to do. What people don’t know is where to park, where to get the parking permit, where the printers are, why the bathroom has no fucking paper towels, that there were going to be ADDITIONAL materials that you have to by at the law school and not the bookstore, the place where you buy said materials keeps crazy weird hours, that you really ought to bring lunch because the food they give you is minimal, etc… Basicly, orientation is overwhelming. Be prepared not for classes/books and such, but rather get ready to manage 20 different minimal tasks you didn’t even know you had to do. Ha. And you thought you were ready for law school to start.

OK for now. I will leave you with a Law School list of important things learn, a la Law School Ninja:

• While not lawyers yet, you are professionals and will be held to a higher standard. Act accordingly.
• In reference to the point above, fix your Facebook
• You might be an alcoholic. No really. You might.
• Also, you might go to jail.
• You will hate life for a little while. This is normal.
• Freaking out in the library, however, is not OK. It might be normal, but you will be laughed at.
• Everybody knows peoples business. Girls walk around in small, fawn-like groups. Men talk about sports and how cute the girls are. These sorts of things don’t change. Welcome to Ridgemont High
• The worst you do? You’ll fail a class. Seriously, it’ll be OK. *Was told that with a straight face.
• Asking 20 questions (not me, thank God) in a lecture will earn your peer’s contempt, even if they were good ones and certainly others had them but were too nervous to ask about.
• No one knows when the pool is open. Not even the pool.
• For at least a little while, you don’t have friends. You have acquaintances.
• People at the internet company are idiots. When you sign up, make sure they know to send you a modem.
• Relax. “But isn’t law school hard?” Hard as hell. RELAX.

Be well gentle readers. Wish me luck

Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon in front of them
Volley’d & thunder’d;
Storm’d at with shot and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Rode the six hundred.

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